Email: Ninja Rob
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com
From: The Big Guy (bodyguarddean@gmail.com)
Subject: Ninja Rob
Dear Rob,
I just have to tell you, they’re all going crazy out there for you, my man.
What’s doing?
With Love,
Dean
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
Subject: Re: Ninja Rob
Dear Dean,
Not Much, You?
With Love,
The Boy
Backpackin like a Boss #JustSayin #SeriousBusiness
(via teambodyguarddean)
Email: Epic Words with Friends
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy (bodyguarddean@gmail.com)
Subject: Epic Words with Friends
Dear Rob,
You and I have been playing Words with Friends for a while now. While I must admit, you are very good with your words, I have to show you this game I recently played. (see pic attached) You’ve got nothing against this player; I’ve erased her name for security reasons, but she knows who she is. This game will forever go down in Bodyguard Dean history as the Epic Dirty Words with Friends game. This, is why I was chuckling so much all day.
With Love,
Dean
P.S Thanks to you, I’ve managed to throw in a few words even she didn’t know the meaning of.
P.P.S You don’t need to worry, this ‘certain person’ is in the Bodyguard Spiral Notebook. She’s on the watch list for many reasons.
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
Subject: Re: Epic Words with Friends
Dear Dean,
That is bloody fantastic. I have nothing else to say. Epic, pretty much sums it up. It is now my mission to outdo that game in wit and imagination. Hey, congratulations on actually Winning that game too.
With Love,
The Boy
P.S You didn’t show this game to Mrs Dean did you? Big Guy, I’d hate for you to get in trouble.
P.P.S Play your move Big Guy.
MAY THE ROBSTENFORCE BE WITH YOU!!
Back Row (L to R) : StormDeanTrooper, Princess StewyLeia, Pattz Solo, Stubacca, HotStormBodyguard
Front Row (L to R) : R2DStew, Bearwok
I don’t usually reblog but this was too good to pass up. StormDeanTrooper like a BOSS. This is my new iPhone wallpaper. Thank you very much.
(via kaniele)
Subject: Someone’s thinking about you
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
Subject: Someone’s thinking about you
Dear Rob,
I was doing my usual Bodyguard recon and came across these pictures of you. I have to say, they made me chuckle. Guess what, did you know, “Thinking of Rob” is turning 2? That’s right, someone out there has been “thinking” about you for at least 2 years straight. That’s a whole lotta time don’t you think? Ha-ha see what I did there? I don’t want this to go to your head, but check this out.(see pic attached) I thought it was pretty clever, in a Bodyguard kind of way. You sure can pull off the blue birthday hat, I was thinking you could wear that to my birthday next year?
With Love,
Dean 
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
Subject: Re: Someone’s thinking about you
Dear Dean,
Big Guy, I love when you go recon online. I can’t believe they have a website called Thinking of Rob. There’s not too much to think about really, don’t you think? Ha-ha, see what I did there? Right back at ya big guy. I’ll do you a deal, mate. You don’t let anyone touch me when I’m signing, and I’ll wear the bunny ears (and tail) to your next birthday bash. Don’t tell anyone though.
With Love,
The Boy
P.S I’ll miss that one site we used to go to all the time, what was it? Random Acts of Rob? I think that’s it, yeah. That was a good laugh that was.
Email: A Man and his Card
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
Subject: A Man and His Card
Dear Dean,
Look what Tom finally got. (see pic attached) I think he’s going to have a hell of a time making it through but I have faith in the lad. I say he’s allowed to shave the epic beard once he get’s through it, what do you think? I wonder if he got the additional gifts that went with this.
With Love,
The Boy
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
Subject: Re: A Man and His Card
Dear Rob,
Ahhh yes, the man card. I am proud to say I managed to do this all in a night, like a Boss. Do you think we should ask him to get a pic of him with the man card and the accompanying necklace? Ask him next time you text. As for the shaving, get the man a Gillette already, it’s embarrassing.
With Love,
Dean.
The bodyguard appreciation post
Bodyguarding is my Business. Like a Boss.
He’s got his eyes on the claws!
Oh no you won’t!!!
If Dean was there this would’ve never happened!
Make sure this never happens again!
THANK YOU SIR! Salute! :)
Dear Dean:
Like a boss. Like a fucking boss.
Love, Aloha SD
cc: @EVisTBD
(via teambodyguarddean)
Email: Great Gift Idea?
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
Subject: Great Gift Idea?
Dear Rob,
You know how Sam gives you band merchandise and you don’t even have to pay for it? Well, I was thinking that maybe you should return the favor with a gift. How about a necklace? Look what I saw on the internet today (Twitter is a GREAT gift resource) It says it’s a Heart. You could give Sam your heart, for only $48. Not sure about postage. Pretty funny eh?
With Love,
Dean
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
Subject: RE: Great Gift Idea?
Dear Dean,
That right there is perfection, mate. The dripping description won me over, not at all the fact that it looks like a dick.
Can you get me a few? I have some gifts I’m due to give out, I think the boys would appreciate them. Get yourself one too, blue really is your colour and you deserve it for your ninja skills.
With Love,
The Boy
That Chris Weitz is a keeper isn’t he.
Long story short. I assisted Chris Weitz tonight on Twitter. He DM’d me a thank you and an added note.
I almost Died!
Round round get around
I get around
Yeah
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Get around round round I get around
My kind o’ town
Get around round round I get around
I’m a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
I’m makin’ real good bread
Oh yeah - bread, that’s “code word”
if that’s Dean the bodyguard, that man is LOYAL. he is everywhere with Rob. from Budapest, to NY, to LA, to the UK…..everywhere.
Email: The Great Hairy Debate
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
Subject: The great hairy debate
Dear Rob,
You know I love you right, and I love your mates, but come on. This is just beyond ridiculous. Look at the beard Tom is sporting, and I don’t mean Sienna. (see pic attached)
He looks like a mountain goat. What are we going to do about it?
With Love,
Dean
-sent from iPhone - Gillette helping me look sharp and shaved since puberty
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
Subject: RE: The great hairy debate
Dear Dean,
Mate, hilarious right? I told him the disguise wasn’t realistic and he’d have to work harder. Nah, I’m kidding. See the thing is that Tom and I have a bet. As long as I’m not getting any, he’s not allowed to shave the beard and vice versa. Pretty funny yeah? We thought so, so for now, we’re stuck with it.
Besides that, who doesn’t like a little tickle down there, I hear the ladies loves it. But don’t tell Mum I said that. Just between you and me, I think he’s also trying to make himself ‘look older’ so he can buy beer without an ID.
With Love,
The Boy
-sent from iphone - I love LA and beer
Email: Who’s the Superhero Now?
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
Subject: Who’s the Superhero Now?
Dear Rob,
Look what some of those Twitter people made me. Who’s living the dream now?
Up up and away.
P.S Clean underwear, must remember clean underwear.
With Love,
Dean
-sent from iPhone - that’s Super iPhone to you
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com}
Subject: RE: Who’s the Superhero Now?
Dear Dean,
Big Guy. You have far too much time on your hands my man.
With Love,
The Boy
P.S Red and Blue really are your colour
-sent from iPhone - feelin pie like a G6
***Photo Bombing is a talent***
FAN ENCOUNTER:
Dean peeked at the small group of us across from Rob’s trailer and must have deemed us “safe”. *snicker* Moments later, Rob strolled across the street with a big smile and killed us all. He signed for Jan first. (Rob: “Your name is JAM? oh Jan… I was going to say Jam’s a very unusual name.”) Then it was my turn. I think by now we all know two things about me. Technology confounds me near people of note and I babble. Like really babble. So as Rob is signing my copy of Cosmopolis I tell him how much we’ve enjoyed following the
filming in Toronto and how excited we are about the movie. You guys know about the Nancy Babich tees, right? Well I was wearing one…. and stuck my chest out proudly, announcing: “We made Nancy Babich tshirts!” Rob smiled HUGE! He loved it, the shirt I mean, so I was extra happy to tell him that we had one for him! *happy sigh* On Rob moved down the short line of fans. Asking names, signing.
Rob said he liked Toronto, someone mentioned something about his red pants and we all had a good laugh. Dean asked if we were all teachers and didn’t we have to work in the morning. He was ignored. It was late so Rob couldn’t do individual photos (in fact Dean tried to get him to go) but Rob said he would do a group photo. Well, not gonna lie, mild chaos ensued while people decided who’s camera, who would take the photo etc. Guess what I did? Yeah, I stuck to Rob like glue. I watched the chaos and said to Rob (never thought I’d see the day I typed THAT) “This group photo isn’t going to happen. I’m just going to take one of my own.”
(via teambodyguarddean)
Smiling Dean.
No Rob.
Not too many of these floating around I’ll tell ya.
Original pic from RobDays
Email: Help me Help you Help me
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
Subject: Help me Help you Help me
Dear Rob,
People are saying I’m emotionless because I think my job is serious business. Seems like everybody loves a smile (and red pants, it seems) but I only know that from my online sources [read:Twitter..such an interesting place] To get back on track, how do you think I can improve my image while still being respected for my serious business of protecting you.
With Love,
Dean
To: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
From: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
Subject: RE: Help me Help you Help me
Dear Dean,
Big Guy. You know I’ll always love and respect you in the morning, right? Right, well I went to my mate Tom for some advice, because it seems like he’s got loads of emotions. We think we’ve come up with a solution for this bodyguard dilemma.
What if you added little faces to determine the seriousness of your mood and message? Like this:
:) Happy but serious business
:-) Really happy but serious business
:-D Smiling on the inside, serious business on the outside
Tom and I really think we’re on a winner here. See how you go.
With Love,
The Boy (in the red pants)
To: Pattinson [pattycake@gmail.com]
From: The Big Guy ‘bodyguarddean@gmail.com’
Subject: RE: RE: Help me Help you Help me
Dear Rob,
I tried your advice. Last time I come to you for advice. Ever. Nobody can take a bodyguard seriously if they use smiley faces.
Back to serious business.
With Love,
Dean
P.S Please, for your own protection. Never ask Tom to help again. You can commend him on his ninja skills though, I’m most impressed with that. - Dean out.
